Email makes communication easy, but the combination of immediacy and brevity can easily lead to misunderstandings.
"I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” —Alan Greenspan
English is an amazing language. It contains more than a million words and creates new ones all the time. With a large enough vocabulary it is possible to eliminate all ambiguity and precisely describe whatever it is we want to say to the utmost degree. Yet we run up against misunderstandings and miscommunication regularly, particularly via email, which can be avoided with a combination of forethought and empathy.
Because the messages are short and often fired off in a hurry, there are plenty of opportunities for miscommunication in electronic communications. It could be as simple as conflicting interpretations of what a word means, a message that comes across as hostile because the other writer is still mulling over a spat with their spouse that morning and the recipient is in a bad mood or an annoying auto-correction that changed the context.
3 Common Causes of Miscommunications
1. We All Have a Natural Bias
One of the biggest reasons that communications, whether written or verbal, are misunderstood is that we all bring our individual experiences and previous knowledge to each situation. Human beings have a natural bias toward using new information to support what we already believe. If the message isn’t crystal clear, the recipient is likely to make it fit into something they already know. And if we’ve engaged in some kind of conflict with that individual, our expectations might cause us to perceive hostility or aggression where none really exists.
2. Different Vocabularies can Cause Confusion
Another primary cause of miscommunication is due to vocabularies being out of sync. English changes rapidly and people often use words incorrectly. In writing and speaking we should aim to be understood, not impress others with how smart we are. Try to use language that will be understood by the recipient, keeping jargon and acronyms to a minimum.
3. Incomplete Information Lacks Context
A third common cause of miscommunications is incomplete information. It might happen because someone was brought into an ongoing situation and wasn’t involved in earlier email chains. Or it might be that we start writing before we’re finished thinking. We can’t expect anyone else to know what we mean, if we don’t ourselves.
7 Tips to Avoid Miscommunications
Following are a few tips that can help lessen the chance of miscommunication:
1. Give the Benefit of the Doubt
We tend to judge our own behavior by our intentions and the behavior of others by their actions. A much more productive approach might be to give the other person some slack too. Until proven otherwise, presume that they are also operating from the best of intentions and want, like you, to achieve the best possible outcome.
2. Don’t Make Assumptions
Just because you know what you meant when you said or wrote something, doesn’t mean that anyone else does. We often assume that the person on the other end receives the meaning we intended when they may have heard something entirely different. Don’t assume the other person knows what you’re talking about. And don’t assume the sender knows you got the message and are taking that next step.
3. Take Responsibility
You are responsible for how your message is received. If the other person didn’t get what you meant, then the problem is likely with how you expressed yourself, not that the other person is stupid or uncooperative.
4. Get Confirmation
Make sure the other person confirms receiving your message and demonstrates they understand it.
5. Proofread
Always proofread your written communications for anything that could be misunderstood, and of course for spelling and grammar.
6. Follow Up
If you get a message you don’t understand, don’t be afraid to ask questions. And always acknowledge receipt.
7. Don’t Let Things Sit
Whatever the cause of the misunderstanding, in all likelihood your colleague did not intentionally insult you in that email. Pick up the phone and ask them what they really meant. That can turn a major contretemps into an amusing anecdote. Or finally reveal which of your co-workers is really your arch-nemesis.
I referenced a quote attributed to Alan Greenspan at the beginning of this post (although it’s unlikely he coined it). I’d like to close with another, this time from Tony Robbins: “To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”
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